Before you can take good care of someone else, you need to ensure you’re taking care of yourself. By doing this, you can figure out what you need from a relationship.
While loving another person can bring incomparable happiness and satisfaction, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. In my last piece, I discussed how excessive love could cause us to lose sight of who we are as individuals, prevent us from establishing new friendships, foster feelings of envy, and ultimately result in unhealthy and toxic relationships.
But many asked, “What does it mean to love people in moderation?” should I not love them as much? So, where’s the love scale?
I’m afraid I don’t have all the answers, but “love in moderation and don’t love too much” is about protecting yourself and your relationship.
You decide what moderation is and how much is too much, just like we all agree that sugar is sweet, but we don’t all have the same amount. (PS: I’m not comparing love to sugar, even though both can be sweet and have killed many!)
Too much of something is never good. So it’s essential to have a balance. Here are a few ways to have a balance:
1. Practice Self-Love: Loving yourself is one of the most important things you can do to love in moderation. Before you can take good care of someone else, you need to ensure you’re taking care of yourself. This means that your needs, like good mental and physical health, should come before your partner’s(I know, you read that right!). By doing this, you can figure out what you need from a relationship and how to give your partner the same love and attention you need.
2. Don’t Make Your Partner Your Everything: Having a solid connection with your partner is essential, but feeling independent and in charge of yourself is vital. It’s important to remember that your partner isn’t everything and to have a robust support system outside your relationship. Having friends, family, hobbies, and interests outside of work can help you stay healthy and balanced.
3. Communicate: All relationships thrive when two people can openly express themselves. Therefore, openly and honestly communicating your needs and expectations to your partner is crucial. This will help you to manage expectations and avoid the pitfalls of loving too much.
“Before you can take good care of someone else, you need to ensure you’re taking care of yourself.” – Ivan Nyagatare
4. Prioritize Your Friendship: We must not forget that the foundation of any lasting relationship is friendship, no matter how much love there may be between us. Successful relationships require both partners to put their friendship with one another first. This can help keep feelings of equality and respect between you at a high level.
5. Set Boundaries: Setting limits is an essential aspect of any relationship, as it helps to guarantee that both partners receive the necessary love and support. Setting limits can help you maintain a healthy sense of independence and prevent you from being overly dependent on your relationship.
The experience of loving someone can be exquisite. However, it is essential to realize that excessive love can be detrimental to you and your relationship. Therefore, keep your feet firmly planted on the ground even as you fall in love; doing so will safeguard both you and your partner and lay the groundwork for a long and healthy relationship based on mutual respect and understanding.
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