Welcome to The Wisdomous – a friendly email sent to you every week to nourish your mental wealth. You will find micro-lessons from macro thinkers, a good story, awesome reads and some fun suggestions.

Hey friends,

The holidays are here, and we wish you a wonderful time. Finally, we’re nearing the finale, and it went by in a flash. Is there anything left in the tank?

This week, I’ve been thinking about the importance of understanding rather than solving a problem.

Our tendency to be fixers is one of the most debilitating aspects of growing up with a history of childhood traumas. When it comes to forming connections with people, “being a fixer” might be a burden, but it’s also a need when it comes to maturity.

I used to communicate by providing solutions, but now I question whether you need a listening ear or a solution.

Not every issue requires a fix; sometimes, all that’s needed is a venue to air grievances.

When it comes to finding solutions, I’m still a big believer in the power of positive thinking. So instead of advising my friends without their permission, I’ve replaced it with the following three things:

  1. Paying attention: To improve my listening skills, I spend time with my friends, listening to what they say and then utilising humour to lighten things up.

  2. I’m eager to learn more: Asking for a different point of view can be just what they need. I’m learning how to ask questions that inspire people to open up and reveal a new viewpoint that they hadn’t previously considered.

  3. Only quality time: I’m busy, and I’m sure you are too. Despite our regular routines, I’ve never been the greatest at small chat or flirting; instead, most of my discussions wind up being more profound and philosophical, which I embrace and love. It’s hard to do this in a 5-minute conversation; therefore, I prefer to schedule a two-hour or more date with the people who truly matter on a specific evening.

We all despise individuals who blame others for their problems and complain is not a clever tactic, but sometimes people who love you need your two ears, which comforts them.

To be a good friend that others can depend on, you have to become better at being who you are.

Nuggets.

  • To pick something up, you have to put something down.

  • Don’t assume; ask. Be kind. Tell the truth. Don’t say anything you can’t stand behind fully. Have integrity. Tell people how you feel.

  • When you’re insecure, everything is an attack.

  • Calm yourself, let go, chase what you’re excited about.

  • Don’t let fear be a roadblock.

Read

  • 5 Books I Have Recommended Over 100 Times: Although I refrain from pushing people to read books, I have loved, but there are certain books that I can’t shut up about. They have helped me tremendously, and as my way of giving back to the authors, I have recommended some of these books over a hundred times.

Notes.

Lately, I’ve added a few new words to my lexicon, including:

Is this something you’d want to hear my opinion on?

This is your chance to spit it all out; I’ll be listening.

But, of course, the following is only my own opinion, and as such, it should not be taken as truth.

Do you have any other knowledge for me?

What’s been going on in your life lately?

Now.

Music

Films

  • Swan Song: Mahershala Ali is a must-see in any movie, and in this future sci-fi, the weight of family is so enormous that death is not an option.

  • The French Dispatch: I’ve already seen this film four times, and Wes Anderson’s cinematography should be displayed in a museum. I subsequently discovered that this was based on The New Yorker magazine, which is another one of my favourite publications.

  • Spiderman: No Way Home: As far as stand-alone superhero movies go(No assembles), this one edges out Black Panther as the greatest so far in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. In addition, that famous meme has been brought to life.

The weekly question

Do you have a why for the things you do?

Until the next one, stay safe and sound!

Categorized in:

Notes