The feeling of love is said to be the most enchanted and transformative of all human experiences. But committing to love might be daunting…
The feeling of love is said to be the most enchanted and transformative of all human experiences. But committing to love might be daunting for some people. So, why are we so reluctant to make romantic commitments? Let’s take a lighthearted look at this serious subject.
The fear of being hurt significantly keeps many people from making severe romantic commitments. “Love hurts,” as the adage goes. It’s common knowledge that romantic disappointment can hurt, and no one likes to risk heartbreak by putting themselves out there.
Jerry Seinfeld, the comedian, once observed, “Relationships are a lot like the court of law. Everyone tells lies out of fear of being found out, and nobody is honest.” This is because we are afraid of being judged and rejected for who we are.
Another thing that keeps many people from making serious romantic commitments is the fear of losing their independence. Joni Mitchell said it best when she sang, “I’m a lonely painter; I dwell in a box of paints.” Committing to someone we love can make us nervous that we’ll have to give up our independence.
Our reluctance to commit can have societal and cultural roots. Nowadays, being self-sufficient and self-reliant is highly valued in our culture. Therefore, in our minds, saving for a romantic partner means giving up our individualism.
Our innate fear of the unknown may also be a factor in our reluctance to commit to Love. In the words of novelist Paulo Coelho: “Love cannot be formed into a routine or obligated in any way. Love isn’t what love songs make it out to be; it just is.”
Love’s unpredictability and the prospect of giving up control both have the potential to make us feel uneasy.
“A happy marriage entails falling in love many times, always with the same person,” stated Mignon McLaughlin.
A loving, fulfilling relationship is worth all the ups and downs of love. So try to love, have fun, and remember that your most important connection is with yourself.
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